By Woosh Marketing Consultants
PROVOCATION ALERT: Not all selfishness is bad……… HUH??!!
Growing up, we likely heard “don’t be selfish” from our parents. Or you need to “share” more. “Don’t just think about yourself.” I am sure we all can relate to this one way or another. And this is relevant across all cultures.
Let me ask you all a question: When you do something nice for someone else, how do you feel? When you share something with another person, how do you feel? When you donate your time or financial resources (if you are able) to charity, how do you feel?
I am betting you all are saying to yourself, I feel really good when I do any of those things. Am I right? We can’t deny that doing something that is considered “selfless” really feels good!
So here is the dilemma: Why do we really do nice things for others? I know you are probably saying, it is because these are the right things to do. Or, because it is what makes us human …or something similar. The reality is simple: we really do things for other people because it makes us feel good! And guess what? Feeling good is actually selfish.
That bears repeating: We do things for other people because it makes us feel good! Yes, it may be the “right thing to do” but NO ONE does something for another if it doesn’t make them feel good. Even when you “sacrifice” something you love dearly so another person can be happy – that too, makes us feel good!
This means we really do these types of things for OURSELVES! And that my friends, makes us all a little bit selfish! We do things nice things because it makes us feel good – because it makes us feel passion or inspiration…but make no mistake, we do nice things because WE want to FEEL good! I am here to tell you that this is absolutely, positively, 100% ok! The conventional (meaning old) definition of selfish simply is not correct!
In my seminar on Perception Management, I speak about the “winning effect.” This is the “feeling” you get from winning a contest, sporting event, etc. Or, the feeling you get when
you have crushed it in a presentation, project or something that was important to you. It is the exact same feeling you also get when you do something nice for someone else. It is SUPPOSED to feel good! The Universe set it up that way!
This is a key difference that separates us from all other animals. This is actually part of our sophisticated ability to have free will.
If it didn’t feel good to do something kind for another person, guess what? We likely wouldn’t do it. The Universe has a distinct vibration that draws all living human beings together. This vibration is something everyone can know and relate to…the vibration of “feeling good.”
The Law of Attraction states: If you “feel good” you “attract good” back into your life. I always add, when you feel good, you “DO” good things in your life. It can be an amazing cycle of awesomeness! You get to feel good all the time and you are doing things of value for other people. Yet again, this is the epitome of being a little SELFISH!
The dictionary defines selfish as:
“Concerned exclusively with oneself: seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others”
I want to #DISRRUPT this definition. Because although on the surface, it is correct, the part about “without regard for others” simply isn’t true in every situation. And there is nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself.
One of the key principles of Perception Management is the fact that we all do things based on our perceptions. I am guessing, growing up, we all believed the word “selfish” was bad and you wanted to avoid this type of behavior at all costs. Our parents ingrained it into our core.
I challenge this (especially in today’s society). I submit that not all selfish behavior is bad. There are actually “good” types of selfishness. The types that compel you to do something kind for another because, it makes YOU feel good! I further submit, that if you perceive that it is “ok” to feel good when you do something for someone else and allow yourself to own this little piece of selfishness, that you will do a LOT more things for others. Again, this is a great cycle of awesomeness!
Look at the definition of philanthropy:
“The desire to promote the welfare of others, expressed especially by the generous
donation of money or one’s time to good causes.”
I would add: Because it makes us feel good!
I am sure a few of you are either nodding your head in agreement or shaking your head and wanting to bash my head about now. So here is my challenge to YOU:
Think of one time where you did something kind for someone else. Think about how you FELT knowing you helped another person. Remember how that affected the rest of your day.
Now tell me you DIDN’T feel good! So if you felt good, what was the real reason you did the “good deed?” We all have desired outcomes we want to achieve. FEELING GOOD is one of them.
Life and business are all about #Perception Management. Getting clear on how YOU perceive the things in your life and equally important, how others perceive you (or in business, how you perceive your own products/services and markets and how your customers perceive you) is vital.
Those that can #INTERRUPT the way they are thinking and feeling (their perceptions) about themselves, a product/service or company and then modify these perceptions to achieve the desired outcome they want, will be the happiest, most successful folks around. So interrupt the way you have been thinking about the word “selfish.”
If you are ready to learn a new, #DISRUPTIVE approach to changing your life, developing and launching your business or a product or a service, developing an awesome business or marketing strategy…. reach out to me. I can help. I will help you discover a whole new way of thinking!
Contact me at: [email protected]
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/davidwooshconsultants